Thoughts on Rails

Riding the Train of Thought

Archive for the ‘personal’ Category

Looking back

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Hmm… how should I put this? I have mentioned M as my love in so many places… but is she? It’s not like that I hate her… hey I still like her just as much as I liked her all these days. it’s just that I’m getting to grips with my studies.

Currently my first concern is studies. Infact, I am not writing this before taking any decision and acting on it – this comes after 2 months of the successful implementation of the decision. No problems till now and none will come later either.

I am feeling so much more interested in studies 😉 Just forget about my having interest in a beautiful and intelligent girl. I’m better off with having to handle my life for now. It keeps me busy enough already.

Yes, I liked her. Yes I was thinking of her most of the times… and I still do. I have only decided to keep the thoughts away for sometime – and that ‘sometime’ is indefinite. Let’s see if and when I get to revert back 😉

Till then, I’ll be cool, you be cool.

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Written by hiway

July 12, 2003 at 2:37 am

Posted in diary, personal, rant

A lesson from history

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Had a hectic day… Studied for the exam (which strikes in about 28 days.)

Downloaded a COM port control plugin for winamp. Made a little remote control… now I can
control winamp from anywhere in my room!!! There’s just one little problem… it is not
wireless 😦 But I must appreciate the programmer’s efforts in creating that plugin. With
just 3 buttons, I can control _almost_ all necessary functions on Winamp! (They include –
start/stop/pause/next track/prev track/vol up/vol down/forward/rewind)

Completed working on the mystery – Did Anastasia Romanova survive the massacre? The
‘solid’ answer is still not clear. But I firmly (and sadly) believe – she did not.

Yesterday I downloaded Anastasia’s photos. I now have over 100 photos of the beautiful
princess! I have also downloaded many pages of information on the Romanov family. I
studied the information presented by many people and have come to the conclusion that even
the experts are confused about what the history is… almost each account of the family
differs at some point or the other!

Although the evidences presented from (the possible impostor) Anna Anderson’s side are
compelling enough, my heart is not ready to accept that Anna was Anastasia. If she really
was Anastasia, I can only apologise for not being able to make good decisions. So whether
Anna was Anastasia is a question that still remains… all I have to say now is that we
must learn a few good things from her life – we cannot take anything for granted – the
changes that occur in our lives are not always controllable – no matter what our position
is, no matter who we are. Another fact that I have found common in all accounts is that
the family was in prayer all of the time – it reminds us to keep the faith in God
Almighty. One more thing – even during their captivity, the parents took good care of
their children – amongst other things, they continued their children’s education by taking
up the job of teaching themselves.

The photos reveal many facts, one which I observed most is that the family was closely
knit and loving in nature… one cannot fake the emotions in so many photographs.

(Coming back to present…)
I really wish that we learn to live in harmony with each other. And stop the bloodshed
that we are getting to see almost everyday.

The war-mood is really depressing me. I cannot look into the future and imagine a good
position for me – working, earning, living happily. All I can see is devastation – lots of
it. Probably I will be dead by the time I should be starting my business or job!
(Hey I am not a pessimistic… it’s just a thought that came to my mind – because if my
country is dragged into a war, I will fight for it’s cause – and can only hope that I
return home someday)

Anyway, have to keep studying (like Ana) and hope and pray that I can live a complete and
fulfilling life. I just hope that I will be able to read this fifty years later and laugh
at my imagination!!

May God Bless Everyone. Especially my Parents, Brother and M – my love.

P.S. Did I tell you that Ana’s photos remind me of M all of the time? The stories of
Ana’s mischief remind me of my time with M in school.

Note: Ana is how Anastasia was mostly known and Anna is Anna Anderson’s first name.

Written by hiway

February 21, 2003 at 1:06 am

Posted in computers, personal, rant

I have been alive for 7098 days!

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I have been alive for 7098 days! (A little program that I wrote just now tells me this.) Well, I will include this little number on top of my notes from now on, just to remind me that life is much shorter than we expect… if I live for 70 years, I will see around 25,550 days, which does not seem to be a big number to me!

Cleaned up my room today (a bit) and put up some nice posters that I designed and printed out. Also put up the picture of the patch of “Columbia Shuttle – STS 107 Crew” It has the names of all the 7 brave people who died in a tragic accident.

Today was ‘blue day’ in college so I was in a blue dress with a blue tie, but not in a blue mood! Enjoyed today’s lectures. Had a nap after coming home… was so tired that I slept like a dead man! In the evening, I helped dad in shiftinf one of his book-shelves.

Downloaded “Silent Bob” a software that keeps on recording incoming sound… and when you hear something you “should have” recorded, just ask Silent Bob, he has around last 2 minutes of sounds in his memory! But what a pity, it own’t install, the setup file is damaged. I’ll download it again when I connect to upload this blog.

(And then the regular…) Remembered M. I was thinking of her this afternoon… I don’t understand one thing, how am I going to handle her dad? He’s my professor in college!!! And as far as I know him, he is a tough person. If he gets to know about my love for M, he’s surely going to fail me in the exams! (God help me)

Mom, Dad and Pritam will be going to UK in the summer holidays… I’ll be staying back. I think I’ll go sometime later, like after my Graduation is over, so instead of just wasting the money in sight seeing, I might be able to earn something right there.

Anyway, let’s see how things turn out.

I consider #7098 a regular day in my life. I hope to have a good day tomorow.

Written by hiway

February 6, 2003 at 11:03 pm

Posted in personal, rant

Simple Life

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I was unable to write for a few days b’coz I was tired and also b’coz I was unable to connect to the net… probably the slammer (helkern) worm has attacked the Indian servers!! The speed was a crawling 0.1 to 0.3 kbps!!!!!!!!!! That is utterly disguisting! My download of a 59kb image took ages, even though I was using Download Accelrator. The usual download speed is about 5 kbps which IS slow. but it’s OK. Of course, while I am writing, I don’t know what the speed will be, but I sure hope it’s fine today.

Nothing great happening for a few days. Except that I got for myself a small CD on which I have burned a few utilities and softwares. It’s still a new thing here in Nagar and my friends are pretty impressed… I think it’s just because Ahmednagar is still a small town… and not a city, as is the belief of many.

I attended the college and the tutions (something’s wrong with me!) I also studied a litle bit for my exams.

Remembered M. Missed her smile. Missed her. (Love Ya M!)

That’s it for now.

Written by hiway

February 6, 2003 at 12:52 am

Posted in computers, personal, rant

I'm feeling Lazeeee

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2nd Feb was a very lazy day.

I can’t remember doing anything important. Bonney was here with a new audio cassette by ‘Karunesh’. The music is good. So I ripped it into mp3 and was listening to it all evening.

Of course, all the time I remembered M. I was feeling like I should get a train to Baramati (where she is studying) and go and meet her. But again the brain v/s heart war began, and alas, the brain won. So I stayed back… lying on my bed, just thinking about her. Praying for her well being. Then going into sleep. Waking up again… listening to music… falling asleep as I drowned in her thoughts…

I would consider today a non-productive day. But my mood was brightened by my _only_ e-pal’s mail. (you’ll probably know if I am talking about you!)

Nothing else to talk about.

Written by hiway

February 3, 2003 at 3:06 am

Posted in personal

The Good Times…

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The computer lab at our college has been attacked by the VBS.Redlof virus. The guys
at the lab were about to get all the comps formatted and lose our work. I requested
them to allow me one more day to write a program to clean the virus. (The
antivirus’ we have don’t really “heal” the files, they simply delete the files
affected by this little script virus.)

I have written the program in VB to detect the infected files, now I have to write
a routine to remove the malicious code and present my solution tomorrow.

Seeing my interest in viruses, I have decided to change the topic of my project
from ‘Online Security’ to ‘Viruses’. I hope I’ll be in a better position to talk
about viruses than about online security 😉

Messed up a little bit… showed my Journal to Joy and Ashutosh (oops!) But It’s OK
as even if I die today, there will be someone who knows where my memories are…
and I can only hope that at least one of them will someday show M these words.
(M, if you’re reading this and I am not sitting beside you, please don’t cry
for me. But remember all your life that, there was someone in this world who loved
you soooooo much. [I can’t write the “ooooo” any longer because of limits enforced
on me by the website managers.] Please forgive me for not letting you know about
these feelings. Be happy, for my sake and whenever you feel lonely, remember I’m
right by your side, and that means even at this very moment. Take Care. With Love,
Yours, Hashu.)

Joy (my friend) had probably been abducted by aliens 😉 and had been replaced by
some dummy as I had been noticing too many changes in his behaviour… but I thank
God and the MIB for getting Joy back to Planet Earth. (Welcome back Joy!)

Ashutosh is still not recovering from yesterday’s shock (regarding D).
Well, he probably expected too much from his dear friend. I feel genuinely sorry
for him. But there’s one thing I observed, Ashutosh has responded like a, well,
child. He has decided to end the relation then and there. But believe me, he’ll be
back on his track in a few days. (Or has he been abducted this time and his dummy’s
playing all the havoc?)

As for my family, Mom and Dad are happy. Pritam is naughty. I am thinking.

Today was terrible: Ashutosh, Joy, Yogesh, Shrikant and myself sat
discussing about Joy and Ashutosh’s g-friend’s matters. Although I was keeping my
calm on the outside, a sand-storm was blowing hard in my brain. All I could
remember apart from our talks was M… all day long.

Other than that, no tutions, no college (I had recieved exclusive permission to
stay at home to complete the project 🙂 and of course lots of time with the
computer.

Sonu (Nayan Mawshi’s daughter) called me up in the evening. She want’s to learn
computers a bit more thoroughly and wants me to help her. I’ll only be glad to
share my knowledge. Let’s see if I can teach her a little programming too (I think
she is not much willing to delve THAT deep into comps 😉

I could go on writing for ages like this…. but my smart-ass watch is telling me
that it’s already 29’th by now (1:10 am)
Fear not, The powwo-fluff-grrls are here to save us! They told me to use the
‘Back-Date Entry’ or something like that to change the date and post my message.

OK. So a goodbey for today.
Had a beautiful day.

May God bless each and everyone I know, my relatives, friends, enemies and all
those who I don’t know. And may Peace prevail on earth.

With Love,
Hashu.

Written by hiway

January 28, 2003 at 1:19 am

Posted in personal

If Tomorrow Never Comes

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One bad news: telephone rates are now tougher on my pocket! Instead of 3 minutes
pulse, it’s now 2 minutes with the pulse rate not reduced from Rs.1.20 . That
simply means I’ll be using less of the Internet.
But I’ll try to keep my Journal duly updated.

One good news:
Today I cried while listening to Ronan Keating’s ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’. It’s a song that cries out to my heart and asks me to tell each person how much I love them.

I can’t just go and say ‘I Love You’ to every person I know, because it won’t be
long before I will be certified a ‘crazy man’. But here’s the little list who I
really will be telling very soon how much I love them.
-My Lord, Jesus Christ.
-My Mum and Dad.
-Pritam, my brother.
-My teachers, especially those who taught me to read and write and those who helped
me to fire up my curiosity and make me a person I am today.
-Vickram Jadhav, Amit, Priya, Aniket, Neeraj, Neelima, Sonu, Minu and Chicky : my
cousins.
-My Uncles and auntys (mamas and mamis) also my mom’s sis Nayan [mawshi].
-Also my dad’s sis : Shashi [attu].

Myself and Ashutosh visited the ‘Rotary Trade Fair’. It’s being held for the first
time in Ahmednagar! It’s HUGE and overwhelming!
There Ashutosh met his friend . But there are some tensions between them
too. (Is there any friendship-breaking epidemic spreading in our city?) They did
not talk for too long. God knows what’s up with all of us.

Again today: no college, no tutions, just me and my computer (except for the fair). Did some of the translation work. Will complete it soon.

All in all, a good day.

Written by hiway

January 27, 2003 at 12:01 am

Posted in diary, personal